A new study has linked the per capita consumption of sour cream in the US to the number of motorcycle riders killed in non-collision transport accidents, National Geographic reports.
Whenever people eat more sour cream, more people die while riding—or falling off—a motorcycle. That’s why the nonprofit organization Sour Creamers Against Motorcycles, or SCAM, has filed a motion in federal court to suppress the publication of annual data on motorcycle deaths by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
“When the public finds out that sour cream causes people to die from motorcycles, they just want to switch to guacamole, and that’s bad news for sour cream lovers,” said Ashley McMannis, the incoming president of SCAM, which gets its primary funding from the Fox News channel. “We don’t hate the motorcycles or the motorcyclists, of course.
“But all the government wants to do whenever it releases data like this is kill business and crush job creation, especially in the sour cream business, which is a favorite target of left-wing liberals, because they think it makes you, you know, fat,” she said.
The group’s mission statement is clear: If data are suppressed, nobody will be able to realize how closely sour cream consumption is tied to motorcycle deaths. That will make everyone happy, the organization contends, and lead to a sour cream business-friendly environment in the US.
Do you think some data should never even be mentioned to the public? Or, should we report all the data we have and let the public decide? Like test scores? Note that some people who call themselves education experts will say test scores are linked to teacher effectiveness. It’s not very different from the correlation described in this spoof news report. Any connection to living or dead people is purely coincidental.